Good morning to everyone except entry-level jobs that require 10 years of experience ☠️

"#1 Newsletter of the Year" 🏆️ -Andy’s Wife

😱 ANDY REACTS

MESSI'S MAGIC TOUCH: 7 Games, 1 Soccer Legend, and an MLS Revolution

MESSI ARRIVES, AND MLS IS LIT!

Just over a month.

Inter Miami?

Used to be the league's joke.

But then?

Enter Messi.

And BAM! MLS is now the talk of the town.

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER:

Messi's 10th goal in just seven games!

Inter Miami? Took home the Leagues Cup.

44 trophies for Messi.

The most decorated soccer player EVER.

Let that sink in.

MESSI MANIA EVERYWHERE:

Apple TV+?

Subscriptions? DOUBLED.

Thanks to Messi’s Midas touch.

Tim Cook? All smiles.

AND THE JERSEY?

That iconic pink?

Topping sales charts. EVERYWHERE.

Unprecedented demand? That's an understatement!

TICKET MADNESS:

Swifties packed stadiums for Taylor.

Now?

Messi-maniacs are doing the same for soccer!

1,700% ticket price spike.

Standing-room tickets? A cool $241.

Want to be up-close with Messi? That’s $16,200, please.

INSTA CRAZE:

Inter Miami’s followers? BOOM!

14 million and counting.

Beating NFL, NHL, MLB teams? Just Messi things.

THE REAL WINNER?

MONEY-MAKING MESSI.

Thanks to that special contract,

Messi earns a chunk from Adidas and Apple's gains.

FINAL WHISTLE:

Messi's not just a game-changer on the pitch.

His magic? It's setting the MLS world on fire.

One goal at a time! ⚽🔥🌟

☠️ ANDY’S DEADLY DOODLES

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💀 Issue #100-and-something 💀

15 years at a company, laid off via email.

15 years at a company, laid off via email.

15 years at a company, not a phone call.

15 years at a company, no word from the manager.

15 years at a company, no opportunity to give feedback.

15 years at a company. See ya.

"But hey we did so well with a severance package, it's better than average."

"The 'impacted' employees will always be part of the fam."

PLEASE remember this kind of stuff when you are:

*Considering backing out of an offer you accepted for a better one

*Considering leaving a company for a better opportunity

*Considering taking that recruiter call for a co. that looks intriguing

*Considering how much work-life balance you sacrifice for your 'work-fam'

They will 100% look out for number 1.

So should you.

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🪦 MUY BUENO MEME

🍪 DEADLY DELIGHTS (FREE!)

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That’s a wrap for today amigos. Eat your tacos and see you tomorrow! If you want more, be sure to follow me on Twitter (@andymewborn) or LinkedIn.

What did you think of today’s edition? (anonymous)

• 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ So f**cking fuego

• 🌶️🌶️🌶️ Meh, keep digging

• 🌶️ Snoozefest

A RECENT REVIEW