Good morning to everyone who checks the fridge every 10 minutes expecting new food to appear ☠️

"#1 Newsletter of the Year" 🏆️ -Andy’s Wife

😱 ANDY REACTS

Google Unfolds the Future: Introducing the Pixel Fold, a High-Priced Blast from the Flip-Phone Past

Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round for the latest buzz in the tech world! Have you heard about Google's first foldable phone? That's right, the Google Pixel Fold is about to hit the shelves, and boy, is it making a statement! I guess Google finally decided to take a page out of the good ol' flip-phone playbook and give it a modern twist.

Now, this new gadget is set to launch in late June, and it comes with a jaw-dropping price tag of $1,799. At that price, I can't help but wonder if it also does my laundry, cooks dinner, and files my taxes. Maybe it even folds my clothes for me, since it's already so good at folding itself!

As sales and marketing professionals, we're no strangers to high-priced items, but this one's got me thinking about my first-ever sales job. I was selling encyclopedias door-to-door – you know, those hefty books that we used before Google existed. I remember trying to convince people that spending a small fortune on a 30-volume set was a worthwhile investment. Now we have Google at our fingertips, and ironically, they're the ones selling us a pricey gadget.

Let's take a moment to imagine the sales pitch for this foldable phone:

• "Tired of accidentally sitting on your phone and cracking the screen? Introducing the Google Pixel Fold – the phone that bends over backward for you, literally!"

• "Too cool for a regular phone? Be the envy of all your friends with the new Pixel Fold – it's the smartphone equivalent of a Transformer!"

I mean, I'm all for innovation, but I can't help but chuckle at the thought of spending nearly two grand on a phone that's essentially a high-tech flip phone. In any case, let's give a warm welcome to the Google Pixel Fold and hope it unfolds a whole new world of possibilities.

And on that note, let's dive into this week's sales and marketing newsletter, where we'll discuss the latest trends, tips, and whether or not we should all invest in foldable phones. Stay tuned for more bendable insights!

☠️ ANDY’S DEADLY DOODLES

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💀 Issue #100-and-something 💀

From Door-to-Door Sales to Political Campaigns: The Unexpected World of B2B Enterprise Sales

You ever wake up in the morning, sip on that hot cup of coffee, and think to yourself, "Wow, I never expected to be in the throes of a political campaign"? No? Just me? Well, buckle up and let me tell you how B2B Enterprise Sales feels like running a full-blown political campaign at your prospect's company.

Navigating the Corporate Labyrinth

Picture this: It's Monday morning, and you're geared up to close that next big deal. But little did you know that you'd be stepping into a thrilling game of corporate chess. That's right, my friends. B2B Enterprise Sales isn't just about selling a product or service; it's about navigating the intricate web of power dynamics, alliances, and the occasional office drama.

Building a Strong Coalition

First off, you've got to build a strong coalition. I remember this one time I was trying to land a major account. I had all my ducks in a row – an impeccable pitch, a great product, and a killer suit (if I do say so myself). But what I didn't have was an understanding of the company culture and the key players within it. You've got to know who the influencers are – the decision-makers, the naysayers, and the ones who can make or break a deal. Once you've got that down, you're ready to start building your coalition one handshake, lunch meeting, and team-building exercise at a time. I swear, I've been to more escape rooms with clients than I can count – but hey, it works!

Crafting the Perfect Message

• Know your audience

• Tailor your message to the needs and pain points of your prospect's company

• Focus on how your product can revolutionize the way they do business

Expect the Unexpected

Finally, expect the unexpected. In the world of politics, there's always a surprise or two lurking around the corner. B2B Enterprise Sales is no different. I once had a deal seemingly locked in when, out of the blue, the CEO stepped down, and everything was up in the air again. But you know what? I adapted, reconnected with the new leadership, and ultimately closed the deal. It just goes to show that resilience and a little bit of humor can go a long way.

Major Takeaway: Embrace the unexpected, keep your sense of humor, and remember that the best salespeople aren't just selling a product – they're selling a vision that can change the game for their prospects. And who knows? Maybe one day, you'll find yourself telling your own thrilling tales of B2B sales conquests.

Happy selling, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

⚰️ KILLER TOOLS

• Google Photos to gain a new ‘Magic Editor’ feature powered by generative AI (link)

• Recipease: An AI-powered iOS recipe app (link)

• Moda: An e-commerce growth marketing platform (link)

🍪 DEADLY DELIGHTS (FREE!)

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That’s a wrap for today amigos. Eat your tacos and see you tomorrow! If you want more, be sure to follow me on Twitter (@andymewborn) or LinkedIn.

What did you think of today’s edition? (anonymous)

• 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ So f**cking fuego

• 🌶️🌶️🌶️ Meh, keep digging

• 🌶️ Snoozefest

A RECENT REVIEW