Good morning to everyone who feels the need to narrate their pets' thoughts out loud ☠️

"#1 Newsletter of the Year" 🏆️ -Andy’s Wife

😱 ANDY REACTS

Montana's Got No Time for TikTok: How the Wild West Just Got a Little Less Viral

Good evening, ladies and gents. Let's talk about Montana, a state that just became the digital equivalent of your grandma who refuses to use email because she's convinced it will steal her soul. Yes, folks, Montana has decided to ban TikTok!

• Now I understand some of you marketing gurus out there might be thinking, "Great, there goes my target demographic of cowboys and cattle ranchers." But don't worry, I hear Instagram is still legal there. For now.

Governor Greg Gianforte said no to TikTok, making Montana the first US state to comprehensively ban the Chinese-owned app. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Wait, doesn't he know that all the best line-dancing tutorials are on TikTok?" Yes, I said it. The only way to liven up a Montana hoedown is with a little bit of the Renegade dance.

• But seriously, I've been to Montana and, let me tell you, it’s a wonderful place. Home of the beautiful Yellowstone National Park, Glacier National Park, and now the first state to become a TikTok-free zone. I guess now if you want to see a bear in Montana, you'll actually have to go outside, you can't just open TikTok and wait for a Yellowstone park ranger's viral video.

You know, when I heard this news, I thought back to when I was a kid. We had this neighbor who'd cover his TV with a blanket every night. One day, I asked him why. He said, "Well, if I can't see it, it can't see me." I feel like Montana's channeling some of that energy.

• And you, sales and marketing folks, if you were planning to launch a TikTok campaign in Montana, maybe it's time to dust off those old MySpace skills, huh? I mean, imagine the innovation here, a revival of the good ol' times. Maybe we'll see a surge in the cowboy hat sales or 'Bigfoot spotted' flyers.

Now, if only they could ban those incessant emails from the Nigerian prince who insists I'm his long-lost relative. I've already sent him my bank account information six times. What more does he want?

☠️ ANDY’S DEADLY DOODLES

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💀 Issue #100-and-something 💀

The Aisle to Success: Navigating the Wholesale Warehouse of Life

Chapter One: Of Hot Dogs and High Stakes

Pull up a chair, pour yourself a steaming cup of something delightful, and let me recount a tale from the wild world of... wholesale bulk shopping. You heard me right, a tale of life-altering wisdom from the endless aisles of a place where you can buy both a diamond ring and a three-gallon tub of mayonnaise.

A few years back, on a regular Tuesday afternoon, I found myself face to face with the CEO of a $216 billion company. No, it wasn't during a dramatic Wall Street confrontation or even a high-stakes poker game in Las Vegas. Instead, it was in the food court of a Costco, over a $1.50 hot dog and soda combo.

Chapter Two: The Oracle of Costco

"What's your number one piece of business advice?" I asked him, waiting with bated breath for the oracle to reveal his secrets. I anticipated an intricate answer loaded with business jargon, maybe something along the lines of, "Synergistically leverage dynamic growth models to strategically pivot towards exponential ROI."

But instead, the CEO looked me straight in the eye, paused for dramatic effect, and said, "Hire good people, and they will do good things."

That's it? Just hire good people? A tip so profoundly simple that it's almost absurd coming from a man overseeing a company that probably employs more people than my hometown population.

Chapter Three: People, Not Pixels

In the tech world where I dwell, we can often get lost in the intricacies of coding, securing venture capital, or closing colossal deals. It's easy to forget that the root of all success lies in the hands of the people who make up the business, not the business itself. It's as if the biggest secret of business success isn't some exclusive high-brow concept but something so fundamentally human: trust in others.

Chapter Four: Good People, Great Things

Fast forward to now, and I've found this nugget of wisdom to be as essential as the bulk supply of toilet paper I once bought from that very same Costco. Because, let's face it, it doesn't matter how many zeros are on your paycheck or how many dazzling deals you close. Without the right team around you, all that success feels emptier than the shelves of hand sanitizer during flu season.

The hardest part of business - heck, of life - isn't mastering the complexities of coding, or raising millions of dollars, or even navigating the labyrinth of Costco on a busy Saturday. It's getting really, really good at finding and hiring good people. Not just people who can do a job, but people who bring the best out of each other and the company.

Closing: Here's to Good People

So the next time you're overwhelmed with the complexities of your job, take a moment to think about the people who surround you. Because as the CEO of Costco taught me over an affordable hot dog and soda, it's good people who do good things. And, in the end, isn't that what we're all striving for – to do good things together?

Until next time, here's to good people, and the even better things they bring about.

Yours in wholesale wisdom,

Andy

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That’s a wrap for today amigos. Eat your tacos and see you tomorrow! If you want more, be sure to follow me on Twitter (@andymewborn) or LinkedIn.

What did you think of today’s edition? (anonymous)

• 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ So f**cking fuego

• 🌶️🌶️🌶️ Meh, keep digging

• 🌶️ Snoozefest

A RECENT REVIEW